Barbie Breaks a Plastic Bone
Oh Barbie, I’m so sorry to hear you broke your arm! See how depressed Barbie is?
Barbie has told some pretty tall tales about how she broke her arm, everything from rescuing puppies from an oncoming tractor trailer convoy to protecting President Obama from a rampaging bull. But come on, get real, Barbie. Lets tell them what really happened.
Based on your world-class rollerskating championship status, you were invited for a marathon charity event benefiting the organization that helps those little third world kids with cleft palates, and Ken skated by in these shorts right here, and you noticed a bulge in them that could only be a firearm, and you screamed “GET DOWN” as you executed a perfect triple axle leap through the air and tackled that evil bastard right to the ground, pinning his arms behind his back and pulling out his gun (oh yes you did!), saving the herd of rollerskating nuns that he was about to shoot down in cold blood, but then his accomplice Skipper Harding attempted to break your thigh with a tire iron, and you instinctively blocked the hit with your elbow. Which broke.
I am not making this up.
Well Barbie, it could have been a lot worse.
Having a broken arm may be easier than your head, torso and lower extremities being torn from each other, but still, it’s hard to be a Barbie in a sling.
There are so many things you can’t do,
like pick through parsley for tabouli;
make Rocky’s lunch;
pay the water bill;
drive to the mall;
order Chinese takeout;
pick a bouquet for your mother in law;
discipline the children;
or go to Maido for a good stiff sake.
But Barbie is not going to let a broken bone keep her from all of these things she loves. No sir. Barbie gets right on the phone and makes an appointment for physical therapy.
How’s her range of motion, Kay?
Aren’t you impressed with Barbie’s progress? Aww, hug time!
Before Physical Therapy, Barbie’s arm was a twisted wreck you could hardly recognize. Now, just look at these before and after photos!
Pretty soon, Barbie will be back to her old self. Then it’s back to the skating rink!
Work those eighties shorts, Barbie!